You Can Research Everything and Still Get It Wrong
Five mistakes a Madrid mom made that hit a little too close to home.
You’re going to make mistakes.
It’s inevitable when you move to a new country, and honestly? Some things you just have to learn from experience. But I do believe some mistakes can be avoided just by doing some minor prep work beforehand.
I recently ran across another Business Insider article from a mom who moved her family to Madrid, and she shared some of the things she would’ve changed if she had it to do over today. One tip—keeping a translated medical profile on your phone—hadn't crossed my mind. I'd already learned the rest the hard way.
Community
I'm still very much in the early stages of building a network here. If I were doing the move over, I'd join related regional and professional groups, connect with families in our area, and start building relationships before I even left the US.
Rebecca, the author, writes that she felt lonely her first few months in Spain. She deprioritized her social life in favor of getting everything else done.
Girl, I’ve been there.
The truth is, making friends abroad can be hard. You have to really put yourself out there, and some of us are just worse at it than others. (Ahem, yours truly is one of them.) The saying, “Fake it ‘til you make it,” comes to mind, and there are lots of ways to meet people if you’re willing to put in the work.
I still don’t have a lot of friends here, but I have started to create a network. There are people in my WhatsApp list I could text or call in an emergency, and I have even more acquaintances.
The work is uncomfortable. Do it anyway. You'll find your people.
Schools
To other parents moving their school-age kids abroad to Spain, I'd recommend asking specifically about language use and requesting sample lesson plans before enrolling to see what language support looks like in practice.
Enrolling your kids in an international school in Spain means it will take longer for them to learn Spanish. In the article, Rebecca mentions that she didn’t realize her kids would be learning alongside native Spanish speakers.
Full disclosure: My kids go to an international school. When enrolling them, I was told the school is about 60% Spanish, and the other 40% consists of other nationalities. My kids are enrolled in Spanish as an additional language (SAL) classes. Elementary kids have that class every day (if they aren’t native speakers), and middle school has an SAL class twice a week.
I was well aware the majority of kids at the school would be native Spanish speakers. My experience has been that most international schools here are populated by Spanish kids whose parents want them to learn English. A couple of my neighbors (both Spanish) have children in international schools for that very reason.
If your expectation is that your kids will be learning alongside other native English speakers all day while they learn Spanish, recalibrate.
Document Translation
Before I left the US, I should have saved a translated medical profile with my allergies, medications, and past surgeries on my phone.
I also should’ve researched how to access medical translation services, so that if something unexpected happens, I wouldn’t have to figure it out in the middle of a crisis.
Rebecca experienced a serious medical emergency not long after her move to Spain. A translated medical profile on your phone that includes a complete medical history is the kind of thing you don't think about until you're standing in a Spanish emergency room trying to explain it in a language you barely speak.
While we did bring our medical records with us to Spain, I did not make the extra effort to translate them. And while I’ve become aware of medical translation services through Facebook and WhatsApp groups, I’ve never used one. Instead, I’ve mostly relied on my doctors to speak at least some English—a huge mistake on my part.
I’ve been lucky thus far, but it's time to fix that.
Driving
I regret not getting an International Driving Permit before leaving the US. It's easy and costs $20.
Driving in Spain is a whole thing. The process is long and expensive. I wrote about it here, and in case you’re wondering, I still don’t have a license. (I’m actually a little terrified to drive here.)
For the first six months of living in Spain, you can get by with an International Driving Permit, which you can easily get at any AAA office or online. And pro tip: Even if you decide not to get a driver’s license in Spain (which I do not recommend), the IDP is a document you’ll still want to have on hand for travel within Europe if you need to rent a car.
Do yourself a favor and get the IDP before you leave the U.S. It’s $20 and takes about 20 minutes in person. You’ll thank me later.
U.S. Phone Numbers
Rather than canceling my number, I wish I’d ported it, which would’ve let me move it to an online service while keeping my number, to save us endless headaches.
This is a topic I researched extensively before we moved to Spain. Some people online recommended Google Voice. Others recommended Tello. Google Voice is appealing because it’s a one-time fee and, with any luck, it’ll work forever. Tello is an ongoing monthly fee, but it can be nominal, depending upon your particular phone needs. (I spend about $6/month for me and a little more for my husband.)
Completely cutting ties with a U.S. phone number is appealing. After all, who really wants to maintain two phone numbers? But as a 40-something adult with lifelong ties to the U.S., it is a must—mostly because of finances.
My recommendation is always Tello. It’s a real phone number at a super low cost, and it works off WiFi. Tello won’t cut you off for living abroad, and you will always receive 2FA texts because it isn’t a VoIP.
Rebecca made mistakes. I made mistakes. You will too. You’re juggling a lot of moving pieces, especially if you have kids, pets, or both. After spending a year and a half in Spain, I’m still making mistakes and learning from them every day. The goal was never to get it perfect. It was to get here and figure the rest out as you go.
I write here about building a life abroad—slowly, imperfectly, and with a lot of trial and error.
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If you’d like to reach out directly, you can find me at jen@jeninspain.com.
Getting settled in a new country takes time. Here are a few of my past pieces to help you get started: