A few days ago, I read a post on Threads from someone who, five months after moving to Spain, was realizing it isn’t for everyone. He got various responses, from “I have no regrets“ to “I completely understand what you’re saying.”
But he tried. Even if he decides to leave and return home, he tried.
This man will never experience that wonder or regret.
That said, this lifestyle isn’t for everyone, and I’ll be the first one to point it out.
I recently ran across a Business Insider article by Sydney Baker, a woman who spent five years abroad in Canada and Europe and ultimately decided it was time to return to the U.S. In her words:
However, life abroad still had its stressors. About five years later, I gave up on the instability of constant visa renewal and just moved back to the US — and I now know the overly rosy takes on social media don't always paint a full picture.
Sydney isn’t wrong. The perpetual visa hurdles can be exhausting. And in her case, because of the lack of job opportunities for non-EU residents, she was reliant on low-paying language assistant positions. And let’s be real: when you’re an educated professional who once had a good-paying, white-collar job, accepting a much lower salary to maintain your visa while leaving you little money for “fun” can be exhausting.
And then there’s this quote:
Each year that I lived abroad, I had to chase down, translate, and notarize numerous proofs of identity, medical certificates, background checks, and other documents.
The cost added up to hundreds of dollars per visa and required a trip to an embassy, consulate, or third-party immigration processor in a different city.
The bureaucracy is never-ending when you’re living abroad. In fact, I have an entire section of my site dedicated to it. And when we moved in 2024, I took a photo of the ridiculously full accordion folder we brought with us to Washington, D.C., to apply for our visas.
There are two ways to handle it.
You can hire someone to handle it, but you’ll still be legally responsible for gathering items like birth certificates, marriage certificates, pet health certificates, etc.
Grit your teeth and dive in.
For Sydney, the cognitive load eventually became too much, compounded by job challenges and building a community abroad. She also rightfully pointed out that what influencers tout on social media is often incredibly deceptive.
Life abroad isn’t an extended vacation. You still have to figure out mundane, tiring tasks like how to book appointments, go grocery shopping, and get to work on time … while also navigating visa paperwork and (sometimes) language barriers.
The above quote sums it all up succinctly. On social media, there’s been some pushback against the “life abroad is a fairytale” narrative. I’m seeing it on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube … anywhere you find a collection of people who live their lives abroad.
Frankly, I’m thrilled to see it.
While life abroad is a lot of fun, it is also a lot of effort through laughter, tears, and all the emotions in between. It can be lonely, terrifying, and enraging.
Do I still get a little thrill when walking down a centuries-old street in Valencia? Absolutely. Sometimes, I forget I live here and am not on vacation. And then I go home to a notification from the Spanish government, and it’s back to reality.
For now, this is where we still choose to be—despite the constant friction and occasional uncertainty.
📚 What I’m reading right now: The Housemaid by Freida McFadden. I’ve only read one other book by McFadden, but I remember flying through the pages. In an effort to end my reading funk, I’m trying another one. So far, so good.
I write here about building a life abroad—slowly, imperfectly, and with a lot of trial and error.
You can subscribe to receive new posts by email, or support this work with a paid subscription, one-time contribution, or just hit the ❤️ button below to help others find poco a poco.
If you’d like to reach out directly, you can find me at jen@jeninspain.com.
More daily life in Spain:
Very true, I think it's important that people realize how much this can vary country by country too. I never understood the complaints when I live in the Netherlands, most things there work quite efficiently. But now, that I'm in France, I definitely get it!
Yes, the paperwork can be overwhelming. We had our ups and downs in the first few years. But now, it is cut and dry with renewing your residency. All I have to do is show my lease, a padron, and ID. I just recently renewed, and I don't have to bother for another 10 years.