Today marks one year since we moved to Spain. Seems fitting, then, to reflect on what it takes to build a life abroad.
I’ve noticed a pattern among Americans who move abroad, more specifically to Europe, and even more specifically to Spain.
On the surface, they all appear wealthy. And if not wealthy, they’re "well-to-do.” The one exception: students. But let’s be real: If you’re a student and studying abroad, there is also a degree of privilege that comes with that, whether it’s parental financing, personal wealth, or the ability to borrow loans for the experience.
Yes, I’m one of those Americans who moved abroad, and while I’m no expert on the topic, I do feel this gives me a bit of insight into this particular demographic.
Let’s set the stage.
One of the most popular areas for Americans to move to in Valencia is the city center. It offers much of the lifestyle this group craves: walkability, easy access to shopping, other English speakers to make friends with, and an excess of restaurants, bars, and other activities to enjoy right outside your door. Sprinkle in some cobblestone streets, cathedral bells on the hour, and the charm of architecture from centuries past, and it’s practically a bat signal for "expats.”
Post-COVID, Valencia became a hotspot for people looking to relocate to Spain. How could it not? At the same time Spain was moving onto the expat radar, Valencia began ramping up its tourism marketing. With its ancient history (all the way back to Roman times), coastal charm, and year-round mild weather, it was only a matter of time before it became the “it” city — a social media darling. In the past few years, Valencia has been named the #1 city in the world to live.
All that said, it makes sense, then, that when you walk down the calles of the city center, you’re bound to hear a lot of English. (I know because I’m there at least once a week for one reason or another.)
The city center is expensive. Like, you’re about to throw down some money expensive. So who lives there?
In short, Spaniards with means and the expat/immigrant contingent.
Of course, not all foreigners move to the city center. We certainly didn’t and have no plans to. It’s busy all the time, expensive, and we experience more cultural immersion by living in a predominantly Spanish neighborhood. Still, I understand the “why” behind it. There’s a part of me that loves the idea of living in the middle of all that history and experiencing the city life in Spain. The more practical side of me wins, though.
If you’re coming from the United States, you’re not moving to the city center without plunking down some significant cash by Spanish standards — and, in some cases, by American standards, which brings us back around to the advantages that the American contingent living and moving here has.
From afar, I can see how someone might think I am pretty fortunate to live here. I acknowledge that I am, but maybe not in the ways you would think.
Will and I aren’t wealthy, and we’ve never placed a lot of value on having “stuff.” Instead, in the U.S., we strove to have a nice house in a good neighborhood zoned for excellent schools. But that home was never filled with fancy furniture, art, or even a lot of decor. For one, I’m not a great decorator. Adequate? Sure. But not great. Two, I’ve always put more value in experiences than things, so that’s where our money often went — and still does.
When we decided to make the leap and move to Valencia, that meant paring down our already relatively lean lives even more. It was either that or ship all of our belongings, which already didn’t have a lot of value, at great expense. Since we don’t get attached to things in general (or houses, apparently), we were fine with selling off everything, bit by bit, until we were left with the bare basics.
Every nickel we gained from selling our belongings went into our moving fund. It didn’t matter if it was $5 or $200; it went toward our big goal.
The only sadness I truly experienced during this process was closing the chapter on some great memories made while purchasing some of these items. The ones that really hurt were the art pieces bought for our kids’ rooms, but that they had probably outgrown anyway.
I’m in a lot of Facebook groups focused on Americans living in Spain or moving to Spain. One common theme is: How much of our stuff should we move with us?
Many of these families are like ours — doing well in the sense that they’ve worked hard for a lot of years, and the idea of letting go of everything they’ve worked for for so long is … punishing. Some go all in and sell everything that isn’t nailed down. Others take a more middle-of-the-road approach, selling most things but keeping others “just in case” inside a storage unit or with a relative. (We kept some “just in case” items in a tiny 10x5 storage unit.) The last group goes all in in the other direction, holding onto everything and shipping it across the ocean via shipping containers. Some even hold on to their cars, opting to retrofit them to European standards rather than sell them.
Each of these three approaches to moving carries some benefit with it, be it having enough wealth to move everything, enough grit to sell everything and go all in, or enough of a safety net back home to return to your previous life without much disruption. Sacrifices are made on all sides, no matter which of these fits your situation.
For me, my advantage lies in my grit and determination to get here. I don’t miss most of my stuff. I don’t even really miss the house I so longed for. While we don’t live a Beverly Hills lifestyle here, we have plenty. That by itself is a luxury by any American or Spanish standard.
Living abroad does innately carry privilege — the ability to choose. Whether it’s wealth, sacrifice, or some combination of the two, having the ability to uproot your life and start fresh in another country is something not everyone gets to do. That’s worth acknowledging, no matter which “moving camp” you fall into.
We didn’t have the “creator-curated” move so popular on Instagram these days. It was hard work — physically, mentally, and emotionally — but it was worthwhile work to have the gift of living in a place I love so much.
When it comes to moving, are you team ruthless downsizing, middle ground, or ship-it-all? Tell me in the comments below. ⬇️
Love this piece! Such a good reminder to be grateful for the privilege of chasing what was a former expat dream. As an American who moved to Germany I felt all of this to be so relatable. Thanks for sharing. I was a starting fresh mover at first but I've slowly brought things over from my childhood home as well.
Great post!!